1st off, get a fold up stool and keep it inside one of your lower cabinets on a hook inside the door.

2ndly. You could work out and build up your arm muscles so that opening a jar isn't that difficult. You can always test them out at the grocery store too, just make sure you buy what you open.

3rdly, get the can opener...that 1st one. Leverage reduces the amount of force needed to be applied to open the jar. You can keep it in the utensil drawer. Easy peasy.

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My ex husband was 6'4". I always had to open the peanut butter jars for him. He said the ridges hurt him. He was also always too busy to come get stuff down off the top shelf. Or he wasn't there. No matter, I made myself a collapsable stool out of scrap wood, which he laughed at. I gave him all sorts of hell when I caught him using it to check out the overhead fan. Heh heh.

I get that your piece is meant to be humorous, and it is. But it's also a little dehumanizing toward men. We want them in our lives because they enrich our lives, not because they do stuff for us. I'd like to see us get away from things that promote the idea that men have to constantly earn love by proving their value. It's fucking up their headspace something nasty. Most of that's coming from within their own ranks, from snake oil salesmen grifting odd their insecurities, but I'd like for women to be more mindful of not inadvertently adding to it.