1) You're validating my point. What chivalry means to different people is slightly different from person to person. It's slightly different from country to country too. The old man believes himself to be exhibitinf chivalry. To me, he was being obnoxious, pushy, and sexist. You're statement suggest that you believe chivalrous behavior to depend entirely on outcome. How's that supposed to work?
2) I'm not giving general proscriptions for men to follow. Again, men have the right to do whatever they want, even break the law by catcalling. However, if you choose to do so, you must face the consequences of your actions. This is basic adulting, it's got nothing to do with gender. Again, what I'm trying to get men to do, those who care to, is think beyond the rigidity of social expectations and "rules". You'll get further in life, in almost every avenue of it, by becoming adaptable and situationally aware of what's going on around you. That includes being able to assess whether your attempts to engage with someone are going well or not and the responding appropriately. In real life, people do not behave like NPRs because they're not algorithms. Ergo, you can't go through life like it's a video game and expect things to work the same. Adaptability is the key to success in life.
3) I don't think I ever said the male lament of not knowing what to do is invalid. If you feel that way, that's how you feel.
I don't think k it's something that requires falling into existential angst and turning to the likes of Andrew Tate over. It's normal and natural to be unsure of oneself and have some anxiety over making a good impression. It's hardly the end of the world if things don't go well and you get rejected. You can't control outcomes or her response. You can only control yourself.
The male obsession with being chosen or accepted always been such a weird thing to have one's knickers in such a twist over. If the goal is to find a permanent partner, then by design every attempt that doesn't lead to a walk down the aisle and making that covenant promise before God and family is going to end in rejection. But is that rejection the failure men fear?
I say no. Gettint out of a situation that is not going to be a success is not a failure, even if you are the one being rejected. That just means the other person realized it before you did or you didn't address it yourself for some other reason.
The male narrative is that men are the only ones experiencing this anxiety. Not true. Women experience the flip side of the interaction and have to deal with that anxiety.
